


now that I've found you.

by doctorkaitlyn



Series: teen wolf femslash bingo. [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Complicated Relationships, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Hopeful Ending, Light Angst, Polyamory, Prompt Fic, Time Skips, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-21 07:27:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4820513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorkaitlyn/pseuds/doctorkaitlyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she is eight years old, Allison meets Kira Yukimura when she moves in next door.  They immediately become the very definition of inseparable.  </p><p>Allison meets Braeden when she moves into the house across the road, just before freshman year of high school.  She slots into their lives perfectly, like she was always meant to be with them.  </p><p>It seems simple and it is.  Until Allison realizes she's in love with both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	now that I've found you.

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for a prompt from aromanticmalia, who asked for "Could you maybe write Allison/Kira/Braeden meeting again after a long time apart?" this really wasn't supposed to be this long, but here we are! also written for the 'childhood sweethearts' square on my Teen Wolf Femslash Bingo card and for the Kira edition of [Teen Wolf Polyamory Saturday!](https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/twpolyamorysaturday)
> 
> title from [Now That I Found You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3x4R6YAnpk) by Britney Spears.

The first time Allison breaks a bone, she's eight years old. 

It's an overcast August day and it’s cold enough that she has to wear a jacket. She has gloves on as well, but those are to protect her fingers from rough tree bark, not the cold. She's halfway up the huge tree that dominates her front yard, sitting astride a thick branch. She pushes away a clump of leaves and leans forward slightly so that she has an unobstructed look at the yard next to hers. There's a new family moving into the neighboring house and Allison is glad; the woman who moved out was creepy. She'd always stood at her front window and stared at everyone who walked by, like a witch in one of the stories Allison's dad told her before bed. 

Even though she's only been watching them for a few minutes, she already likes her new neighbors better. 

There's a man and woman, roughly the same age as her own parents by the looks of things. They seem to love each other; every time they pass each other, arms laden with boxes and bags, they exchange a smile or a kiss on the cheek. There's a little girl as well, smaller than Allison, with jet black hair flowing down her back. She's sitting on the front lawn, playing with a fluffy dog who looks like it's still outgrowing the puppy stage. She keeps tossing a faded tennis ball for it and when the dog trips over its own legs and falls on its face, the girl bursts out into laughter that makes Allison grin. 

She _definitely_ likes these new neighbors better. 

Allison watches until the girl's parents finish unloading their car. Their moving van still looks packed, but there are two burly men taking care of that. When her parents call her from the front step, the girl disappears inside with the dog cradled in her arms, staggering slightly under its weight. Allison waits a few minutes to see if they'll come back out before beginning to inch backwards, making her way back to the trunk of the tree. 

She only makes it a few feet before the branch cracks and sags downwards. It doesn't completely break away from the trunk, but it's still enough to throw her off balance. She throws out her arms but her fingers just barely skim over the bark as she falls. 

When she hits the ground, there's a sharp snap and a feeling like being struck by lightning before everything goes black. 

She wakes up in a blindingly white room that smells like hand sanitizer. Her right arm is encased in a cast from shoulder to wrist and she feels like she's been asleep for days. Her dad is beside her, face lined with worry. When she tries to talk, nothing comes out and he presses a glass of water with a straw in it to her lips. 

"Allison, what were you doing?" he asks, wiping away a stray drop of water from her chin. "You could have really hurt yourself." 

"I just wanted to see our neighbors," Allison croaks, throat still dry. "They look really nice. They have a little girl. Can we meet them soon?"

Her dad just nods, sighs and gives Allison some more water.

&.

The next day, once Allison has woken up from an uncomfortable nap (her cast is itchy and she isn't used to sleeping on her back), they go over to meet their neighbors. They've barely reached the front steps before the door opens and a ball of fur comes flying towards them. It's quickly followed by the little girl, whose hair is pulled back into a long ponytail.

"Kit, no!" she yells, just as the dog slams into Allison's knees. It nearly knocks her over, but the dog looks so happy that she can't be even a little bit mad.

"It's okay!" Allison says, holding her hand out so the dog can lick it. "I think he's just excited." 

"He is. He gets excited about everything." The dog moves on to sniff at Allison's parents while the girl stops in front of Allison. She's wearing shorts and a t-shirt and there's what looks like a fresh scrape on her knee. 

"I'm Kira. How'd you break your arm?" she asks, pointing at Allison's cast. 

"I'm Allison. I fell out of a tree. That tree, actually," Allison says, pointing over the fence that separates their yards. "What happened to your knee?"

"Kit knocked me over when we were playing. He does that a lot." 

"Kira, who are you talking to?" 

Although Allison's parents insist that they don't want to intrude, the Yukimuras still talk them into staying for dinner. While the adults talk in the living room, Allison sits on the edge of Kira's bed and just listens as Kira talks a mile a minute about everything and anything. She trips no less than five times over Kit and before Allison leaves, Kira uses a glittery purple marker to draw a fox on Allison's cast. 

From that day forward, they're inseparable.

&.

By the end of junior high, Allison can still count the number of days that she hasn't spoken to Kira on one hand. It would be much harder, if not impossible, to count the number of times she's fallen asleep on Kira's floor, midway through a conversation about superheroes or the books they've read or their hopes for freshman year. Even after so many years, she's yet to see a part of Kira that she doesn't like.

She really doesn't think that things could get any better. But that's before someone moves into the house across the street. 

It's been empty for as long as Allison can remember, a monstrous house slowly crumbling to pieces. But one day, the sound of hammers and drills begins to ring through the neighborhood. The place is suddenly bustling with workmen and Allison watches them come and go from the window of the tree house her father made a few years back. 

(She’s only fallen out of the tree once since he built the sturdy rope ladder going up to it and that was on the night she snuck some of her mom’s vodka into a water bottle so that her and Kira could try it. But she only sprained her wrist that time.)

“Any sign of the owners yet?” Kira asks. She’s sprawled on her back, half buried by blankets, reading a comic book. 

“Nope,” Allison says, resting her chin on the window ledge. “Just a lot of construction workers. And none of them are cute.” Kira drops her comic and squeezes in beside Allison to peer out the window. They’re so close that Allison can hear Kira breathing and just like that, her face grows a little bit warmer. 

“You’re right,” Kira says. “Not a single cute one.” She goes back to her makeshift nest and continues to flip through her stack of comics. By the time Allison joins her, she’s gone through half a dozen of them. 

“I hope they aren't too old,” she says, shifting closer to Kira so that she’s cushioned slightly by the blankets. “I’d be nice to have someone our own age closer to home.” Most of the kids on their block are nearly old enough to be in college or still in diapers and the rest of their friends are scattered across town. Kira mumbles an agreement before opening a Captain America comic. Allison smiles and rolls her eyes slightly before she wriggles further into the blankets and lets her eyes drift shut, just for a few minutes.

She doesn’t mean to fall asleep, but she isn’t surprised to find herself waking up curled against Kira’s back. Kira’s asleep as well, fingers still resting on her book, long hair splayed across the ground. Not for the first time, Allison finds herself just looking for a few moments, studying how her best friend has both changed and stayed the same over the years.

Kira used to be tiny but now her limbs seem too long for her body. Her legs are always littered with bruises and scratches and even though she’s been taking katana training with her mother, her balance is still not great. She still talks almost frighteningly fast and she still smiles almost constantly, even while she’s sleeping. 

When Allison looks back up, she realizes that the neighborhood has gone quiet. When she gets up to peer out the window, the driveway across the road is empty. The workers have gone home and without the noise, the whole block sounds eerily quiet. 

Another week passes before their new neighbors officially move in. Allison comes home to find a SUV parked across the street. It looks like every light in the house is blazing and muffled music is spilling from the open windows. She drops her bow off inside before darting over to Kira’s but even though they sit at her window for an hour, there's no sign of the new people on the block. 

The next afternoon, their new neighbor finds them.

They’re in the tree house again, munching on cold pizza, when a small rock comes sailing through the window. Allison leaps to her feet and sticks her head outside, ready to tear into the creep from the next block who’s been bugging her since grade school. 

Instead, her words die in her mouth. 

There’s a girl standing underneath the tree house, staring up at Allison with her hands on her hips. She has wavy black hair just barely brushing her shoulders and dark brown skin and one of her eyebrows is raised into a perfect arch. 

“Can I come up?” she asks. “I think you're the only ones around here that aren't babies or college freshmen.” 

“You’re the new neighbor?” Allison asks. At that, Kira leaps up from her makeshift nest and squishes in beside Allison. 

“Yep. Now, can I come up or are you going to give me an interview first?” Allison turns to Kira, who just shrugs and smiles. That’s all Allison needs to scoot over to the hole in the floor and drop down the rope ladder. The girl climbs up in a matter of seconds and easily hauls herself through, as easily as if she’s been doing it for years. 

“I’m Braeden,” she says, reaching behind herself to pull the ladder up. “Whose tree house is this?” 

“Mine,” Allison replies. “I’m Allison.” 

“Kira.” She waves slightly and the corners of Braeden’s mouth twitch slightly in what could almost be considered a smile. Once she’s hauled the ladder up, she tosses it aside and lays down on her stomach, chin resting on her crossed arms. 

“So,” she says, glancing from Allison to Kira and back with wide brown eyes, “what's there to do around here? Is there any old people who will yell at me for walking on their lawn? Any creeps to stay away from?” 

“Matt,” Allison and Kira say in unison. “You definitely need to stay away from Matt.” Braeden responds with another raised eyebrow and a wave of her hand, prompting them to continue. 

By the time Braeden goes back across the street, it’s dark outside and Allison is pretty sure that she’s gained another friend.

&.

Braeden fits with them perfectly. She’s brash and borderline arrogant, a little hard around the edges, but Allison can’t imagine her being any different. She listens to Kira’s explanations of different comic book universes without showing a single sign of impatience and when both of them need help with English, Braeden proofreads each of their essays. 

(Sometimes, by the time she’s finished, Allison never wants to hear the words _I don’t think you need that comma_ again, but her marks more than make up for her frustration.)

Freshman and sophomore year seem to fly by in the blink of an eye. By the dawn of junior year, Allison feels like a completely different person. The last two years have been rough for a variety of reasons; her parents have come back from the verge of divorcing at least twice, her father’s business has taken a hit and her aunt has disappeared into thin air. It's a set of circumstances that hasn’t exactly helped her on the relationship front. There’s been a few boys, but never for longer than a few weeks and never approaching anything more serious than casual dates. 

Truth be told, the only solid part of her life has been Braeden and Kira, balancing her out, distracting her when she asks for it, knowing her better than she knows herself.

It’s midway through junior year, on the day that she gets her first and last detention, that Allison realizes that she’s in love with both of them.

They've just left the cafeteria and the three of them are heading to the library to study for some upcoming tests. Kira is talking to them about a movie she watched with her parents and, like always, she’s so busy whipping her head back and forth between the two of them that she isn’t really paying attention to where she’s walking. By the time Allison notices that she’s about to fall down the stairs, it’s too late to stop her. It’s only a few steps and Kira has been through far worse, but the way her smile suddenly falters makes Allison’s stomach drop. 

And then someone laughs.

Allison whips around and immediately finds the source of the laughter. It’s a boy, one that she vaguely recognizes from a few of her classes. He’s pressing his hand against his mouth but that isn’t enough to hide the smarmy smile plastered onto his face. 

Allison thinks she finally understands how it is possible for someone to _fume._

She takes a step forward, but Braeden beats her to it. One moment, the boy is standing up; the next, he’s lying flat on his back, clutching at his bleeding nose. Allison glances over at Braeden, who is shaking her hand and grimacing slightly. 

“Damn,” she says. “I always forget how much that actually hurts.” Kira is staring at Braeden with her eyes wide and mouth open. Allison sticks a hand out to pull her up and Kira squeezes tightly. She also doesn’t drop her fingers, even after she’s back on her feet. 

“Thank you,” she says, glancing at both of them. “I mean, you didn’t have to defend my honor or anything but-”

“I wasn’t,” Braeden says with a shrug. “I was just punching an idiot.” Before Allison can add anything, a teacher comes pushing through the loose knot of students that have formed. He glances between the boy on the floor and Braeden’s knuckles before inexplicably proclaiming that all of them are getting detention, including Kira. 

Allison doesn’t bother protesting; the only reason she didn’t punch the guy was because Braeden has always been faster than her. 

“My parents are not going to be impressed,” Kira murmurs, squeezing Allison’s hand once more before dropping it. She spends an hour in detention with Allison and Braeden, sitting at a table in the library, forced to be silent by the ridiculously vigilant librarian. 

Allison spends that hour trying to convince herself that the warm, overwhelming feeling spreading through her chest is not love. 

She fails.

&.

In retrospect, it is definitely Stiles’ fault that they kiss.

It’s at a party near the end of second semester, held at Lydia's house. The three of them drive over together, fighting over the music the whole time. It feels normal, exactly as it should, except for the way Allison’s chest tightens every time Kira smiles at her or Braeden absently brushes a piece of hair away from her forehead. 

Every day since the detention has been both a little brighter and a little more unbearable. 

They find most of their friends in the basement, sprawled across the carpet in a loose circle. Stiles already looks a little tipsy; he’s pressed shoulder to hip against Scott, throat bobbing as he rapidly chugs a beer. As soon as it’s done, he slams it onto the carpet hard enough for Allison to wince. 

“There, now we can play!” he says, volume of his voice changing with every word. When he looks over at them, his eyes light up and he gets to his feet with a few stumbles along the way. 

“Hey!” he slurs, practically falling on Allison as he gives her a hug. “I’m so happy you guys are here!” He manages to tug Kira into a hug as well but before he can reach for Braeden, she steps away.

“No way,” she says. “No drunken hugs. Remember that policy?” 

“Braeden, that was _one time_ ,” he whines but she simply glares at him until he sits back down beside Scott, visibly pouting. Allison sits on Scott’s other side, scooting as close to him as she can so that Braeden and Kira can fit in the circle as well. 

“Maybe he shouldn’t drink anymore,” Allison whispers in Scott’s ear as Stiles lunges for the empty bottle sitting a few feet away. 

“That last beer was mostly water,” Scott murmurs. “He just _thinks_ he’s drunk.”

“Spin the bottle!” Stiles proclaims loudly. “I’m going first!” 

“This is not going to go well,” Braeden mutters. 

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Kira asks, shrugging slightly. It looks like she’s blushing but the lighting in the basement is terrible, so maybe it’s just Allison’s imagination. 

For the first twenty minutes, things are relatively uneventful. Allison gets away with kissing Scott on the cheek and when Braeden has to kiss Stiles, she threatens him so thoroughly beforehand that Allison doesn’t think he moves his mouth at all. They end up wasting at least three minutes waiting for Malia and Lydia to stop making out. Eventually, they get up and leave, still connected at the lips the whole way. Stiles takes over the bottle again and this time, when he spins it, it lands on Braeden again. 

“Wait!” Stiles says, interrupting Braeden’s annoyed muttering. “Game changer! I know you don’t wanna kiss me again. So kiss the hottest person in this room instead.”

“There’s two of them that I can’t pick between,” Braeden says without missing a beat.

“Then kiss them both,” Stiles replies with a shrug. “The rules aren’t _that_ strict.” 

“Alright,” Braeden says before twisting to the side and pressing her lips against Kira’s. Kira squeaks quietly but after a moment, her eyes flutter shut and she presses her palm against Braeden’s cheek. It’s short and sweet but just watching it makes Allison’s stomach swoop and her cheeks burn. 

But before she can peel her eyes away, Braeden twists again and kisses _her._

It feels like the air has been sucked out of her lungs. She knows that Braeden is probably just doing this so that she doesn’t have to kiss Stiles again, but it doesn’t _feel_ like a platonic kiss. One of Braeden’s hands is tight on her knee and her tongue is a gentle warm presence against Allison’s bottom lip. Allison sighs and slowly moves her hand until it’s pressed against the side of Braeden’s neck. 

She can feel Braeden’s accelerated heartbeat beneath her palm. It doesn’t feel platonic either. 

By the time they separate, Allison’s head is pounding and her whole face feels flushed with blood. Braeden glances back and forth between her and Kira before grabbing both of them by the hand and pulling them off the floor. 

“I think we’re done for the night. Have fun!” By the time anybody else reacts, they’re already halfway up the stairs. Braeden keeps tugging them through the party and up to the second floor of the house. Allison glances over at Kira and even without saying anything, it’s clear that they’re both thinking the same thing. 

_What is going on?_

Braeden doesn’t stop until they reach a darkened bedroom that hasn’t been claimed by anyone yet. When she lets go of their hands, Allison sits down on the edge of the bed and waits, shoving her shaking hands into her lap. Kira sits down beside her and crosses her legs while Braeden just stays by the door for a few moments. Her fingers curl and uncurl, tucking into fists before twisting in the fabric of her pants. Her teeth are stark white, sinking into the full flesh of her bottom lip and when she finally crosses the room to stand before them, Allison swears that she can see a drop of blood sitting at the corner of Braeden’s mouth. 

“I want to do that again,” Braeden says firmly. She reaches her hands out and Allison immediately takes the one offered in her direction. Kira is only a split second behind her. “I want to kiss both of you again and not just during some stupid party game. I just had to get that out there. We can forget about it now, if you want to.”

“No,” Kira says. When Allison looks over, Kira looks worried, almost sick. “I want to kiss you again. And I…” Kira’s fingers slowly slip curl over Allison’s hand, the one that isn’t holding Braeden’s. “I want to kiss you too,” she continues, voice faltering on the last few words. “I’ve wanted to kiss both of you for a long time.” 

Allison feels like the entire ground has fallen from beneath her feet. Kira and Braeden’s hands are the only things that seem to be anchoring her, the only things that are keeping her from literally trembling out of her skin. She lets her eyes close for a few moments. This has to be some kind of fever-dream, maybe some kind of drunken hallucination. 

When she opens her eyes again, Braeden and Kira are still there, but they've started to let go of her hands. 

“Allison, are you okay?” Braeden asks, dropping down to her knees on the carpet. Allison takes a deep breath and nods. 

She knows that what she’s about to do might ruin the two best friendships she’s ever had. She knows that there’s no going back from this. 

She also knows that it’s way too late to turn back. 

She turns to face Kira and leans in, stopping just before their lips brush. When she glances up into Kira’s eyes, she finds Kira staring at her, pupils wide. Her lips turn up into a smile and Allison feels something swell and expand in her chest in the seconds before she erases the space between them. 

Kira’s lips are soft and brush against hers light as a whisper. Her fingers, calloused from years of katana training, wrap around Allison’s tight. After only a few moments, Allison needs to pull away to breathe, heart thudding in her chest. But she doesn’t dare open her eyes yet, still sure on some level that this cannot be real. 

Braeden’s lips on her neck come as a complete surprise. They feel like feathers brushing against her jugular and she can’t keep a sigh from escaping from her chest. When she turns her head, Braeden is right there, mouth slightly parted, fingers still wrapped tightly around Allison’s. 

The second that their lips touch, Allison feels like the final piece of a puzzle has clicked into place. 

The rest of the night passes by in a blur of time and movement. Allison loses track both of how many times they kiss and how many times they almost fall off the bed. They never stop touching. They drape over each other, presses kisses to exposed sections of skin, run fingers along slopes and curves that are both new and unfamiliar. They don’t venture any further than waistlines but Allison could care less. She feels like she’s floating above the scene, so caught up in the moment, lingering on every touch and caress for what seems like hours. 

It’s way better than her dreams made it out to be. 

Eventually, just after the first rays of sunlight begin to pierce through the curtains, they slow down. Touches become lighter and more fumbling, yawns are buried against bare shoulders and Allison feels herself slipping away. 

She can still feel Kira and Braeden pressed against her, can smell their perfume and shampoo as she falls asleep. 

When she wakes up, her face is surrounded by a curtain of dark hair and someone is pounding on the door. Before she can convince her muscles to move, the door flies open and immediately, based solely on the loud gasp she hears, she knows that it’s Stiles that just barged in on them. 

“Uh. Good morning,” he says. “You three okay?” 

“Perfectly fine, Stiles,” Braeden mutters from Allison’s right side. “Can I help you?” 

“Lydia just asked me to look around and make sure that no one threw up anywhere. Did you?”

“Did we _what_?” Braeden asks. Her voice is thick with frustration but her fingers are skimming softly over Allison’s lower back, steady as a metronome. 

“Throw up.” 

“Did _you_?” Kira mumbles from the side of the bed farthest away from Allison.

“Um, maybe,” Stiles mutters and Allison can’t help but bury a snort into her pillow. She can’t say that she’s surprised. 

“There’s Advil in my purse if you need it,” Kira continues. “Now please Stiles, come back in a few minutes.” 

“Or don’t,” Braeden quickly adds. Allison can hear the clack as his mouth audibly closes and thankfully, he doesn’t say anything else. A few moments later, the door closes loudly and she sinks further into the bed, reaching out with her hand until her fingers brush against Braeden’s shoulder. 

“Good morning,” Braeden says quietly, voice completely changed in only a few moments. It’s soft now, softer than Allison thinks she has ever heard. She slowly turns her head and pushes Braeden’s hair away from her face so that she can look at her friend. Braeden rolls onto her side and a few moments later, Kira pops into view, resting her chin on Braeden’s shoulder.

“Morning,” Kira murmurs softly, pressing a kiss against Braeden’s neck. “How’d you sleep?” 

“Well, one of you elbowed me a few times, but it was fine aside from that.” Braeden grins and brushes a wayward strand of hair away from Allison’s face. “You, Allison?” 

“Slept like a log,” Allison says truthfully. Now that the morning light has permeated the room, she feels a little gross. There’s mascara caked to her eyelids, her mouth is a little sore and she knows that when she takes off her bra, she’s going to have indents pressed deep into her pale skin. Her hair is tangled and she definitely needs a glass of water sooner rather than later. 

But all of those things can be squared away in only a few minutes. The warm feeling in her chest, on the other hand, the one that just sinks further into her bones the longer she looks at Braeden and Kira? 

Well, she has a feeling that isn’t going to disappear nearly as fast as her smeared makeup.

&.

Exams come and go and summer descends over Beacon Hills like a thick fog. Allison’s father leaves on business trips that last weeks at a time. Her mother still watches like a hawk but her constant gaze is less focused and concentrated, like she’s actually starting to trust Allison. Allison still has to lie and make up excuses if she wants to go to parties or hang out with Scott and Stiles, but if she asks to cross over to Braeden or Kira’s, her mother barely even looks up from whatever she’s doing at the time.

Sometimes, when she can’t sleep, Allison tries to picture the expression that would cross her mother’s face if she knew what really happened in Braeden and Kira’s bedrooms. Sometimes, the thought scares her so much that she has nightmares. 

They somehow manage to fit three people into beds that are meant for no more than two. Long nights are spent in a haze of intertwined limbs with movies on as background noise, one ear always listening for the sound of footsteps on the stairs. Allison memorizes the feeling of their lips, the exact texture of their fingertips as they trace along the inside of her wrists and thighs. 

Stiles miraculously keeps his mouth shut about seeing them after Lydia's party and they don’t tell anyone else. It’s still too new, too fragile and confusing. One misplaced word may be all it takes for things to come crumbling down. Even on the best days, uncertainty still lingers in Allison's mind. 

Every time she kisses them, her mouth feels bittersweet. 

By the time senior year is around the corner, most of that bittersweetness has melted away, replaced by what seems a lot like hope. Hope that they might be able to actually make this work. Hope that maybe telling everyone else won’t be the end of the world. 

There’s two weeks left before school on the night that everything changes. They haven’t been over to Braeden’s for awhile; Braeden says that they’re doing some renovations on the top floor and the house is a mess, filled with plaster dust and holes. So instead, they’re lying in Kira’s backyard, sprawled across old blankets. Kira’s parents are already asleep, so there’s no reason to hold their affections back. Allison’s fingers are woven into Kira’s hair, pulling it back into a tight braid before letting it all fall loose again. Braeden is quiet, head in Kira’s lap, one hand lightly resting on Allison’s knee. 

“I’m amazed we can see the stars,” Kira murmurs, sighing quietly as Allison gently pulls through a knot. 

“Me too,” Allison replies, pressing a kiss against the back of Kira’s neck as a silent apology. 

“You know I love you both, right?” Allison freezes with her fingers midway through another braid and peers over Kira’s shoulder at Braeden. She’s looking up at the sky and there’s no emotion on her face that Allison can identify, but a shiver still goes down her spine. There’s something off, something _wrong._

“We love you too,” Kira says, leaning down and kissing Braeden’s forehead. Allison forces herself to nod and squeezes Braeden’s hand. Braeden grins up at her but even that can’t make the churning feeling in Allison’s stomach go away.

Maybe she’s just watched too many Lifetime movies, where every sentence is a harbinger of some kind of melancholy doom. 

Braeden leaves soon after but Allison decides to stay the night at Kira’s; her dad is gone again and she doesn’t want to risk waking her mother up. They stay outside on the blankets until their eyes are drooping. By the time they make it to Kira’s bed, Allison is too tired to do much more than just brush her lips gently against Kira’s before rolling over onto her side. 

“I love you,” Kira mumbles against the back of Allison’s neck, gently draping one arm over Allison’s waist. 

“I love you too,” Allison sighs, trying to ignore the sick feeling still lingering in her stomach. 

When she peers out Kira’s window the next morning, Braeden’s driveway is empty and there’s a shiny _For Sale_ sign on their lawn.

&.

They spend the next two weeks texting and calling Braeden off and on. The calls go straight to voicemail after the first three days but Allison can’t stop herself.

All she wants to know is why. 

The night before school starts, Allison can’t sleep. The clock keeps advancing further and further into the morning hours, but her mind won’t let her eyes close. Being with Kira would help but her parents demanded that she stay home ‘to get some good sleep.’ 

Allison hasn’t gotten a good sleep in exactly fourteen days. Being able to wrap her arms around Kira is the whole thing that has kept her from simply tilting her head back and screaming.

The pulsing green light from her computer keeps drawing her attention so she slowly slides out of bed and pads over, rubbing at her sore eyes. She turns on the screen, thinking about what website she could visit that would bore her into sleep. Automatically, she opens her email and when she sees the name attached to the first message in her inbox, she freezes. 

Braeden. 

There’s no subject line and for a few moments, she wonders if it’s just a spam email or a virus. She clicks on it anyway. In the _to_ box, there’s both Allison’s email and Kira’s. The actual message is only one line and she reads it three times before her eyes start to water. 

_i’m okay. i’m sorry._

Allison immediately responds, not caring that it’s almost one in the morning. She’s not going to be able to sleep anyways. 

_we miss you. please call us? we just want to know what happened._

She clicks send before she can think about it too much. 

She never hears back.

&.

High school seemed to last forever, cling to Allison like a chain wrapped around her ankles. Senior year was been absolutely insufferable, laden with near-constant stress: the stress of picking a college, the stress of finding somewhere to live, the stress of keeping her relationship with Kira a secret from her parents.

College, on the other hand, is like a breeze. Sure, there are days where she can’t think straight, where her eyes are sore from staring at her computer all night, where she’s drank so much coffee that every one of her nerves feels alive and jittery. But even on the worst days, where it feels like she hasn’t slept in four days and her stomach is craving real food, she knows that she can make it through. 

Kira’s there for her the whole time. They’re roommates in first year and they move into a tiny apartment as soon as second semester is done. It’s not much and there are some days where it feels like the walls is closing in, but they do their best to make it seem homey. They even adopt a kitten in third year. 

They say _I love you_ every day and neither of them mention Braeden’s name, even on the days where it’s the only thing Allison can taste in her mouth. 

By their last year of school, the idea of getting engaged has started to stir in Allison’s mind. She’s still too young to go through with it, but the thought doesn’t scare her like it used to. She knows what it would entail; getting a house together, maybe another cat, complaining about their jobs and occasionally squabbling. 

Allison can’t think of anything she wants more. 

On the night that she gets the Facebook request that throws everything into limbo, she’s thinking about opening a jewelry site and glancing at rings. When her phone buzzes with a notification, she half-heartedly glances at it, expecting it to be Stiles asking to copy her homework again. 

What she sees instead makes her heart stutter to a stop in her chest. 

_Braeden Davies has sent you a friend request._

Her fingers shake as she types Facebook into her browser. When she opens her mouth, it takes what feels like infinite moments to push out her girlfriend’s name. 

“Kira?”

“Yeah?” Kira asks, poking her head in from the kitchen. There’s a dab of pasta sauce high on her cheek but Allison can’t bring herself to laugh. 

“Check your phone.” Kira reaches into the pocket of her shorts, pulls out her phone and almost immediately drops her spoon to the floor. She hurries over and practically falls into Allison’s lap, just as Allison brings up what little of Braeden’s profile they can view. 

“It’s her,” she says quietly. It’s been five years since they’ve seen Braeden but there’s no mistaking her for anyone else. She’s wearing aviator sunglasses and sipping a drink in her profile picture and her long dark hair is shot through with streaks of caramel. She looks effortlessly cool and the longer Allison looks at the picture, the more her stomach churns. 

“What should we do?” Kira asks. 

“I don’t know,” Allison says quietly, finally tearing her eyes away from the screen and turning to rest her forehead against Kira’s shoulder. While uninvited thoughts of Braeden still pop into her mind from time to time, she'd been almost certain that her unresolved feelings had been tucked away into a locked part of her mind. 

She feels like she’s been hit by a wave and only her grip on Kira is keeping her from being swept away. 

“I still want to know why.” Kira mumbles it into Allison’s hair and Allison winds her arms around Kira’s waist, tugging her even closer. “I want to know why she left.” 

“Me too,” Allison admits, shoving the words out of her dry throat. She turns back to the computer only long enough to press the button to accept Braeden’s request. She doesn’t even get her arms around Kira’s waist again before her computer chimes as a new chat window opens. 

_hi ally_

No one but Kira has called her that for years. She swallows heavily and settles her fingertips over the keys, just as a second message comes through. 

_is kira with you?_

Allison quickly types out a response and waits. First five minutes pass, then ten. By the time Braeden finally responds, Allison is ready to close her laptop and pretend the whole thing didn’t happen. The next message is a long one and she reads it twice, wincing as her throat tightens even further. 

_you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to. I won’t be mad if you both decide to delete me. I just wanted to say that i’m sorry. what I did was incredibly shitty and my only excuse was that I was selfish and wanted to protect myself from the pain. I'd known that we were going to move for months but I didn’t want to say goodbye. it just seemed easier to just disappear. I thought everything would just fade away. it didn’t._

_I just had to get that off my chest. it’s been eating away at me a lot for the past… well, five years. if you want to tell me to fuck off, go ahead. I probably deserve it._

Allison stares at the computer screen. She feels sick. More than that, she feels overwhelmed. Part of her wants to take Braeden’s advice and tell her old friend to go away but even when she sets her fingers on her keyboard, she just can’t bring herself to type the words. 

“Kira,” she finally says quietly, turning and resting her head against her girlfriend’s shoulder again, “what should we say?” Kira is quiet for a very long time. Her fingers slowly comb through Allison’s hair, easily twisting around knots. 

“I want to see her,” Kira finally says. “I think we need to. For closure, if nothing else.” Allison nods and cranes her neck to kiss Kira’s cheek. 

“Okay,” she murmurs, turning back to her laptop and attempting to collect her thoughts. “I can do that.”

&.

Braeden is twenty minutes late.

They’d agreed to meet her at a small cafe on the edge of campus. It’s fairly empty, caught between the morning and lunch rush and even though they’re sitting in direct eyesight of the door, Allison finds herself peering around for what feels like the tenth time in the last minute. 

“Why am I not surprised?” she mutters, tapping her fingernails off the table top.

“We’ll give her five more minutes,” Kira replies, lightly knocking her foot against Allison’s shin. “And then we can leave, okay?” Allison nods, swallowing back a drop of blood from where she’s been biting her lip. She hasn’t touched her coffee. She’d ordered automatically but her stomach is far too upset to consume anything. 

With each additional minute that ticks by, she finds herself wishing more and more that she hadn’t accepted Braeden’s friend request. 

She’s just started to tear her napkin to shreds when the bell over the door rings. Automatically, she glances up, expecting nothing, only to feel her lungs freeze in mid-breath. Kira gasps quietly and kicks Allison’s leg, but she’s pretty sure that it’s an accident this time. 

During high school, Allison often found herself being struck by Braeden’s sheer beauty at the strangest of times and this is no exception. Her long, dark hair is hanging over her shoulders in loose curls and her head is held high. She’s definitely a few inches taller than she used to be and she’s gotten more muscular and when she glances over at them, her lips quirk up slightly in a way that Allison still recognizes, after all this time. 

In the time it takes Braeden to cross the room, Allison reaches across the table until she finds Kira’s hand. She needs something to reassure her that this isn’t just a dream and the gentle pressure on her fingers as Kira squeezes is more than enough. 

Braeden stops in front of their table and Allison tracks the bob of her throat as she swallows. When her eyes trail up further, they lock onto Braeden’s and it feels like yesterday that she was seeing those eyes for the first time, popping through the bottom of her tree house. 

“You both look really good,” Braeden says quietly, sliding her leather jacket off her shoulders. “It’s… really nice to see you.” 

“It’s nice to see you too,” Allison rasps, throat suddenly gone dry. 

She doesn’t think that she’ll have to wait very long before she actually believes her own words.

**Author's Note:**

> as always, I can be found on [tumblr.](http://banshee-cheekbones.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
